And then there was Poop....

This evening, Daddy is innocently watching his favorite set of twins as mommy has decided the double coupons at K-Mart are just too good to pass up.

The evening is fine for a time. Penny is carefully inspecting each toy attached to her super seat, Isaak is playing with O-balls on the floor, and Daddy is watching HAL9000 take it to those pesky meatbags on Jeopardy.

Life is frolicking happiness for all.

The phone rings. It's Grandma! Daddy pauses the TV to talk to Grandma and to provide the latest update on the little ones, while at the same time trying to keep them entertained. Multi-tasking: It's what you do with twins.

After daddy hangs up, he notices the smell of something rotten in Denmark wafting gently on the breeze of the furnace blown air.

Let's check Baby #1: Success! (?) Isaak has something in his breeches!

Time to change the little fella! Other than it being his fourth poop of the day :-( all is well. It's a *good* poop - a poop like ricotta cheese with an extra little sumpin-sumpin. For Isaak, it's a win!

Daddy had noticed that Penny seemed a bit damp before he headed back to change Isaak, so he grabs a diaper and a wipe before heading to the front of the house,

Daddy gently places Isaak on the playmat and bends down to change Penny. Ok, let's unbutton your outfit a little sweetie ...ohgodohgodohgodohgod.... Foul on the play!  15 yard excessive poopage penalty: Something has breeched her breeches! Denmark has escaped it's borders and now seems to be heading into Norway!

Daddy grabs up mommy's little girl and springs for the nursery.

Penny has baked a sweet potato surprise! A LOT of sweet potato surprise. (more on the dining habits of the Mastin Twins later). It's about 3 inches up her back and squeezing out the sides...no use trying to salvage the changing pad now. I yam what I yam and it is what it is.

One sacrificial diaper later, Penny is something approximating clean. Daddy has managed to secure her befouled clothing away from his sweet princess and has a diaper loosely under and covering her. He takes the time to secure the previously soiled undergarments in a plastic baggie, lest they further contaminate the premises.

Dearest Penelope takes this brief moment to do something very un-lady like: She kicks her diaper open and relieves herself on it...and on the changing pad...and on herself.

In case you are counting - that was diaper #3.

Daddy laughs (and Penny laughs) and Daddy sighs (and Penny...well, laughs).  Daddy reaches for a couple of tissues....ah crapola. There are no Kleenex in the box...So saying a little prayer to Peenemunde (the German God of all things damp), he grabs his naked little girl, runs for the closet and gets a box of tissue (coincidence it's a yellow box? I think not!). Miraculously, he makes it back to the bedroom with no further liquid damage.

A few moments later, we finally have success, no more dampness. No more poop. Only four diapers! Let the dancing commence!

Cue mommy walking in the door...

As I type this, Penny's outfit and changing pad are soaking in the bathroom sink with rather a lot of soap.


Penny is getting a bath. A Very. Thorough. Bath.

Daddy is having a well deserved adult beverage.

I never did get to see how Watson fared on Jeopardy this evening...wonder if he offered the humans a chill pill?