In Sickness And In Health

In every marriage vow I've heard there seems to be some variation of this line. It certainly makes sense: You take care of me and I will take care of you.

What you might not be thinking about at that particular moment in time is that the vow includes kids. Snot-dripping, mouth uncovered, licking everything in a squirm-able radius kids.

We don't know how Isaak got sick. We only know that he started it. "It" being a now two week long ordeal of coughing-congested-runny-nose-fever-for-which-they can't-take-a-thing-hyper-crud-during-which-no-one-gets-to-rest-illness.

Yesterday was the two week point for Isaak. We took him back to the pediatrician and because this holy terror has been going on so long they gave him antibiotics as it has probably transformed from virus to bacterial. Penny has a script on hold in case she heads down the same path.

The rest of us trail Isaak's trajectory by as little as 3 days (Penny) to as much as a week (Neil). It is not fun. So far, Isaak has been the only one projectile vomiting due to gagging.

What it feels like is the flu without the 103 degree fever. Maybe it *is* the flu and the flu-shot is doing it's thing to keep us all from getting worse. It all started coming to a head on Wednesday when it hit Bekka full-force and me almost as hard. Two sick kids and a sick mommy? Uh-uh. Not happening. So home I stayed and to the pediatrician we drug ourselves.

It was tough enough already, but in wee hours of Thursday morning, it got worse. Much worse.

Last night, Penny cried for 3 hours straight. Was this from 9PM to midnight? Uh. No. Poor little thing started at midnight and continued to three in the morning. She was hoarse. Her eyes were watering, she didn't want to eat. She didn't want to cuddle. She finally fell asleep after sitting up in a bright room looking around for 15 minutes. Don't ask me why this was calming to her, but there was zero interest in snuggling with her loving parents.

After finally snuffling her self out, she ate a 4 oz bottle, went to sleep...and promptly woke up 30 minutes later in full-on air raid siren mode. This would be 4am. Another 15 minutes and she went back to sleep and stayed that way until 10 this morning.  Was it terrible gas? Was she just so unused to feeling this way she didn't know how to react? Did her 100 degree fever give her the ability to see the ghosts of the dead Indians upon whose graves our house must surely be built?

Elefino.

A little secret? It was also terrifying. She screamed like she had just been vaccinated, but for 3 hours instead of 3 minutes. Having seen our share of medical issues, we didn't panic, but the ER certainly crossed our minds. Neither child has ever done that and Bekka and I hope we don't see it again.

So far today, she's been clingy and miserable and still running a temp but no extended bouts of hollering practice. Isaak is still coughing and sneezing but the antibiotic and rest seem to be moving him along the right path and he's pretty chipper. Bekka has retreated into full-on turtle mode - she gets better only with mass quantities of sleep thanks to a terrible case of mono in high school. She woke up to eat lunch and feed the babies theirs.

As for me, Isaak woke up bright and sun-shiny at 9am (giving me about 4.5 hours of sleep) - and so a very sick daddy (but the least sick of the household at this point) took care of his very sick little kids and his sick little wife.

Phew. I sure I hope I can go to the office and get some rest tomorrow...

And then there was Poop....

This evening, Daddy is innocently watching his favorite set of twins as mommy has decided the double coupons at K-Mart are just too good to pass up.

The evening is fine for a time. Penny is carefully inspecting each toy attached to her super seat, Isaak is playing with O-balls on the floor, and Daddy is watching HAL9000 take it to those pesky meatbags on Jeopardy.

Life is frolicking happiness for all.

The phone rings. It's Grandma! Daddy pauses the TV to talk to Grandma and to provide the latest update on the little ones, while at the same time trying to keep them entertained. Multi-tasking: It's what you do with twins.

After daddy hangs up, he notices the smell of something rotten in Denmark wafting gently on the breeze of the furnace blown air.

Let's check Baby #1: Success! (?) Isaak has something in his breeches!

Time to change the little fella! Other than it being his fourth poop of the day :-( all is well. It's a *good* poop - a poop like ricotta cheese with an extra little sumpin-sumpin. For Isaak, it's a win!

Daddy had noticed that Penny seemed a bit damp before he headed back to change Isaak, so he grabs a diaper and a wipe before heading to the front of the house,

Daddy gently places Isaak on the playmat and bends down to change Penny. Ok, let's unbutton your outfit a little sweetie ...ohgodohgodohgodohgod.... Foul on the play!  15 yard excessive poopage penalty: Something has breeched her breeches! Denmark has escaped it's borders and now seems to be heading into Norway!

Daddy grabs up mommy's little girl and springs for the nursery.

Penny has baked a sweet potato surprise! A LOT of sweet potato surprise. (more on the dining habits of the Mastin Twins later). It's about 3 inches up her back and squeezing out the sides...no use trying to salvage the changing pad now. I yam what I yam and it is what it is.

One sacrificial diaper later, Penny is something approximating clean. Daddy has managed to secure her befouled clothing away from his sweet princess and has a diaper loosely under and covering her. He takes the time to secure the previously soiled undergarments in a plastic baggie, lest they further contaminate the premises.

Dearest Penelope takes this brief moment to do something very un-lady like: She kicks her diaper open and relieves herself on it...and on the changing pad...and on herself.

In case you are counting - that was diaper #3.

Daddy laughs (and Penny laughs) and Daddy sighs (and Penny...well, laughs).  Daddy reaches for a couple of tissues....ah crapola. There are no Kleenex in the box...So saying a little prayer to Peenemunde (the German God of all things damp), he grabs his naked little girl, runs for the closet and gets a box of tissue (coincidence it's a yellow box? I think not!). Miraculously, he makes it back to the bedroom with no further liquid damage.

A few moments later, we finally have success, no more dampness. No more poop. Only four diapers! Let the dancing commence!

Cue mommy walking in the door...

As I type this, Penny's outfit and changing pad are soaking in the bathroom sink with rather a lot of soap.


Penny is getting a bath. A Very. Thorough. Bath.

Daddy is having a well deserved adult beverage.

I never did get to see how Watson fared on Jeopardy this evening...wonder if he offered the humans a chill pill?